My first task of the day is taking the training for dinni, shakir and edah. Its been so long since doing training in the morning with them. I felt a bit lost i must say but instinct just kick in. Started a bit late cos i overslept la.. We finish the training at around 12 plus. It wasn't that bad . But i enjoyed doing their training. I have to do it every morning now..

The thing about doing training in the morning is that I'm scared that i just coudn't wake up. Yes i start work at 10am but you know that i can take my time but in training cannot be late. Very bad example. Hahaha.. Anyway the real reason is that i can't go clubbing la.. Want to wake up very hard.

I hope that the boys are going out tonite... Woohoo..

I was watching this movie online last night and it really got me thinking. How far would you actually go for the ones that you love.. your family, your friends, your girlfriend, your boyfriend whoever is on your loved one list. Sometimes we just can't be bothered about what is happening around our loved ones either we just too busy with work or just simply don't want to know. What if your loved one is kidnapped, battered, robbed or even worse murdered. Shit! I would freak out for sure. But would you go all out breaking the law making a mess in the street or would you just let some other party handle the situation? Injustification will be felt. Feeling to retaliate and do alot stuff. You won't be able to think straight. Everything will be not right. Everybody is wrong. After that then we will realize.. I should have called, I should have been more caring, I should have this should have that. By that time it will be too late.

If it was me i would be all lost. I would be like don't know what to do. I would like to unleash the other side of me but then would i be appreciated? But i would do it anyway.. I love my family, my friends. They are my life. I would back them up anytime. The feeling that i have for them is eternity.

Taken.....

I'm always happy when it comes to weekends. I get to see my friends and my friends are the most important thing to me right now. They are the pillars of my life. If it was 15 years back I think I won't bother about them. Now it's totally different.

Was out with the boys on friday and saturday. We had fun at Obar. We talk about all the crappy things, drink shots, make fun out of others, watching girls and mcm2 lagi la.. I have developed a habit where i will want to stand in the DJ console beside Ollie evrytime now. I actually do not know when actually the habit started but whenever I'm in there i feel really good. I told Ollie to just pretend that i was his hypeman. Hahahaha... I realised something that after all this years clubbing we still had fun. We always talk about till when we going to end this but eventually we will still end up at the same spot the next week. Its about the company and friendship that we have in life.

I have this thing to decide about weather to bail out or to keep. I had this feeling for this girl. She quite pretty and very matured. We always talk on the phone daily. One day 5 or 6 times we talk to each other. I developed a likeness for her. But the thing is that everytime I asked her out she would declined me with all these stupid reasons. The best part is when i asked when I asked when I could see her and the answer is next year. I think she is just playin with me. U know like teasing me or leading me somewhere but i haven't been talking to her for two weeks now..

The other is a teacher which I met in in Obar. It was on one Wednesday when I was buying drnks at the bar counter suddenly she came up and gave me a tissue paper. She caught me off guard. When I opened up the tissue its was her phone number. I actually don't know what to do. So i told the boys about it ar... But towards the end i remembered that she was the girl that epul was talking about some time back. Anyway about her she like biskut mary.. sometimes have sometimes don't have. But do not know where she leading me too. She is always busy with work but sometimes she calls me and always tell me don't forget to eat and all.

I think the best part is just let the matter rest for awhile and see what happens and take it from there.

Last friday i was really happy to see Epul smile and having fun again. It's been a long time since he did that. I think its the chinese chick. Yea, definitely the chines chick! Even when going home still smiling.

Anyway after all that party and bullshit, today is Monday and i have to work. Back to reality but i can't wait for the weekends.. Hahahaha

If you got no luck than Good Luck!

I have not been sleeping properly these two days. I will sleep before twelve and i will be awaken exactly at 3am. It has been happening for the past 2 days. On top of that, weird dreams..one after one. I did sower before i go to sleep and all but still they came by.

It's the second day of work today and still lost. It is so painful to wake up from the comfortness of the bed. But stil have to wake up. The thing is that the whole office just can't afford to be late anymore. There is somebody new in the bosses office. He is from SSC and claims that whilst the man is not around he will be doing his duties. For how long? Two months max. The office is not the same anymore. Not the usual fast pace environment. Now its like more secretive. Everything is secret.

SLeepy...........

Hahaha..... it's very frightening to know that you can predict what your future is. How dark it is when you can't even see your own hands.

It's a hell of a roller coaster ride. I have been on leave for more than 3 months but the holidays went short. I was supposed to start work on the 1st of May but was pulled back. Alot of things has happened when was not in the office. A bit lost on the first day of work today. Do not know where to start. Anyway, the office was in a state of emergency. Staff been terminated, staff been rested and don't know what other bullshit.

A friend and a family has been stopped of his services and kinda missing him. He stayed with me for more than 5 mths. First it was only supposed to be 2 weeks but in the end was 7 mths. He was very close to the family. Someone that can talk to and someone that can be relied on..

I broke up with Gina after 4 years together. It is a waste putting all the effort and time. It's just a matter of religion. She don't want to convert so it's going to be a waste of time. But we are still friends. It is sad though.

Been partying a lot with the boys lately. Didn't really bother about anything even about health. Just party, party and party. Met a few people along the way. Discovered a few people along the way. Got into trouble along the way. Quarrelled with people along the way. But most of all the friends that are with me that tolerate my nonsense everytime. I appreciate these people alot. Don't have to mention names cos you know who you are.

I'm feeling quite emotional these few days. About work, people and family. I feel that it's getting harder and harder to live in this city. I know i can't please everybody and cannot expect everybody to understand me. But for me to choose is hard. Really hard.. Somebody got to take the hit..

If i got the chance to choose a character in a movie I would be Jason Bourne where he do not know who he really is but he have all the skills to survive in the mainstream. The only thing is that he is in that movie and I'm not.

All these months which I was not working I've developed psychological resilience. The flexibility in response to changing the situational demands, and the ability to bounce back from my negative emotional experiences.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that i cannot change, courage to change the things that i can and the wisdom to know the difference..