I skip day 4 cos there wasn't much to tell. Basically everybody did well on regu except for you know who but i still say that everybody did hell of a job. Day 5 started at 10.30am. I tgought of doing my weight training first but it would be rushing and there won't be much recovery time. Anyway, to day was Ganda and I don't know shit about it. I was hoping that maybe i could get a partner who is well versed in this but too late.. Everybody was taken up but luckily there was baiya and i instantly grab him to be my partner. Although he don't know much but at least there is some where to start with. We tried our best to put up a piece. We finished early at 7pm. Luckily we can have ample rest and shit! IT"S THE LAST DAY TOMORROW! Anyway, I feeling quite irritated today and didn't talk that much. My heart is still aching from some bullshit I heard about my crew. Some bullshit nigga came to tell some playas that my crew is delivering the wrong dope. Who the fuck the nigga is to say that shit? I don't know weather who's gone or who's gone. ans some nigga came to talk shit bout me master? That nigga really don't know how to value life. I can't believe all this bullshit first. I have to get this shit straightened out if not it will still bother me. Like in my first piece, we learning from the creator and who the f*#k are you to say that we learning nonsense. Thus I heard this from some chick so i don't know how true it is. But I believe it's 90% true. I'm taking the advice from the master itself, he said,"Jul....jgn pikir baru blajar ama bapak slama seminggu lu udah jaguh Jul.... Kita masih banyak mau blajar kerna ilmu itu semua datangnya dari Tuhan.. Bapak pun skarang masih banyak mau blajar, seperti disini bapak pun juga masih blajar. Jadi jgn sombong, riak, dan takbur Jul.. Insyaallah kita dapat berkahnya..." Then i tought, it was the thing to do. I talk to tiger about it and he said not to do anything we just stay humble. So I thought that what goes around, comes around. We just wait for the time when karma hits. I got to forget bout this bullshit. It is just taking up space in my brain. One more test to go and it's finito and i could get back to my normal routine. Enough said! Peace outside nigga!

I'm typing this piece with all aches on my body. The achness is killing me! But what the hell....I still have to go through this witout any complaints. Done with tunggal and its regu's turn. It was a fast one today as everybody has memorize it already. The trainer was impressed with us cos he said that most of us have the techniques correct. So he decide to do a mock up test. we sat around and one by one we performed the regu. Everything went well. I... the gundu, punya selenge...firstly my nervousness never ever did this before, secondly stress takut lupa. I started nicely and all of a sudden, I just switched the moves into tunggal. What the f#@k? Am i carzy or what. Everybody startted laughing and shit. Even i laughed. The best thing is that it was caught on tape. What the hell. I always related to Tiger that I'm scared to forget the steps and furthermore I was always the last one to come out. I think I had the most least of expectation for both categories. tiger said that it is always good to be the underdog where people have no expectation of you when you suddenly perform at your best. Anyway its test day tomorrow and i think its going to be all good...Good Luck playa!

It was rough waking up this morning when i really had to force myself up. Everytime I sit up i feel a force pulling me back down again. It's been very long since i have this kind of training. 9 am till 11am babe.....athlete pun tak training ni macam. Evrything went well with training. All the coaches are supportive with each other but some still have the ego and pride of I am better than you attitude. I wish i could just go there and give one good punce right at the kisser of the hypocrtite. Anyway it was quite fun during the training when you can see all the oldies struggling their way in their physical state. Mostly its siku man having problems with his knees(banyak panjat agaknye la tu..). In tunggal its not much of a problem but when it comes to regu i think he will most probably wear off his knee cos the sequence has ups and downs. For sure his knee will give way but as advice by the head coach he taped his knee in order not to give way. For me, i having a hard time as well. I cannot do certain movements due to my size and kakuness. I'm quite irritated about that but nevetheless I worked my way through. I think the trainer knows that I'm struggling very hard so he was slow on me. But for siku man? Damn.... he was called called up everytime for demo and i feel that he was being tortured everytime he was called up. Tiger always will laugh at him. My test did go well and managed to go through and do the correct techniques. We finish quite late when i reached home, it was almost 12. I simply crashed without going for shower.

It wasn't that bad when the class start. The feeling of nervousness is there cos i know I'm an arse in artistic. The day started of when I and the big man went to the airport to fetch Pak Rifai. We got there early. This is for those of you who do not know who he is. Pak Rifai is 63 years old, he has a lot of coaches experience internationally. I don't have to say so much about him. Just to cut it short, he is the creator of the Tunggal and Team category. Do i have to elaborate more about him? I don't think so. He's the creator like God created man. I'm learning directly from the person who introduced the steps. I mean that he did he did not introduced the steps la....but he combined all the steps which is contributed from different clubs then combined to become one. Creator also right...... The training was not that bad as I say but the ups and downs remind me of doing squat kicks. I bet that the two Jins who are attached to us for some time now, Keen and hasyer is having a damn good laugh upstairs watching us training. Pistol air korang.... The theory was so deep that i really couldn't understand till I have to ask every single word uttered from him. I feel him for his love of silat. When the the training started, i was very suprised that a lot of the steps were different. I figured that the international setting was corrupted too. But those in the national team didn't have much effect from it. Majority of it is all correct. So you guys don't have to doubt the artistic coaches. The definition of the steps were totally different from others that i see. The barehand steps and parang was define to the max. We were explained again and again till we totally understand what it means. Quality rather than quantity is what the trainer always says. We finished at 10pm. I was dreadfully exhausted. I went home without having a shower. I just changed and took a cab home, showered than crashed.

To dinni: Lepas abg dzul habis course ni kita training regu untuk sijori mesti kita angkut gold punya tapi abg dzul nak kena jadi jintinaz la ni macam.

To all the Jins and Jintinaz, thank you for the support. Love ya'll playa's!!


Lady Bit: Tahan lagi sikit. Lagi brape hari je. Never think about outcome when you have not even started the process yet.



Peace Outside...

It's going to be another two weeks to the nationals. It's been a very tough ride since the begining. Some people say that I'm just sitting my big butt. The thing is that to all you people out there you just don't know shit about what I'm going through. Don't talk about me, talk about yourself than you talk about me. Don't let me hear about me cos I'll whip your head! It's going to be worse if you talk about my boys and girls cos i'll cut your tongue out and feed it to the dogs. You think that i have no more colours and I sold them all? I know that there is less training this time. I cop to it. There's a reason behind that. When there is no commitment and dedication, it would be just a waste of time arrangging a lot of training sessions but there is no people around to train. I rather concentrate on those people who really want something out of this. Despite that there are some people who really want this and putting their damn effort but some people just missuse the power that they have like putting a shot gun on my head and asking me, "what chu gonna do now nigga?" Do you think I give a shit? I don't even give a rat's shit out of that. It's simple nigga, you don't come, you don't play. So f*#k you all, all of you all. If you all don't like me , just blow me. But there is people who i appreciate and really proud of. Weather in the or not. These people put their effort and stand my nonsense in training. People like the Jins who are always there to give a helping hand although they concentrating on the trials. Shakir whom i label him as 'The Rock'. Why? He's been training like hell and he's not broken yet. I really don't know weather this is for him or someone else. I think nobody in the team is training as hard as him. I told him yesterday," In order to win him, you have to be him." I hope he makes it this time. And of course he's other half, 'Lady Bit' or should I say Rabiatul Adawiyah. In a lot of the athletes in the club that i see, i think she's the most potential one that is going to make it far. Only if she starts thinking straight. You hear that? YOU ARE THE MOST POTENTIAL GIRL IN THE CLUB! I don't really know why she does not want to be in the National Team but I guess she has her reasons. Take your time..... The two brothers or so I call them 'The Twin Towers' are also there to give their help whenever needed. For them i just wish that i could take take out their brains and wash it with dettol and put them back together again. Again time will tell....And of course the other Jins who made the selection for the World and SEA games. All the best to you all.... No matter what happens weather I shout at you or curse you, you guys know that i love you all very much. So get down and hit the floor!!!

My worst of all nightmare are about to come this Thursday when the coaching course starts. I was never ever good in seni but what the hell..... I still got to go through this course like everyone else. The thing is, I'm not ready physically, mentally and theoretically. Shit! I was never ready for this kind of shit. It's going to be hell.. I will suffer a lot with my stiff movements and stupid seni knowledge. I never thought that seni was a compulsory thing for all coaches but now it is. I did go through the single and team movements in technical level 1 but that was some time back. The memory of the steps are still in my brains but vague. Nevertheless i still tried doing some refreshing with the coaches and try to memorise everything before the trainer comes from indonesia. At the same time i also did some physical training to help me in the course. Shit! I'm pespiring when I'm typing this. I really don't know what is going to happen during the duration of the course. The best part of the course is it starts at 9am and finishes only at 10pm and it goes on for 6 days. That was only tip of the iceberg. The test for both categories will be tested at competition standard. I don't know weather i can last even that one minute of the 3 minutes. Damn...I'm dead... But whatever it is, I'm going to complete the course and prove to everyone that even the coaches know their shit... So good luck to me.